My favorite person is my only reason to live

I come from an abusive background; I have a bad relationship with my parents, my brothers wont talk to me, and I have no friends. I got fixated on a new person towards the end of 2023 and when it happened, I knew it was going to end badly, but i couldnt stop myself from trying to get closer to them. Things took an inevitable turn for the worst last spring, and I tried to forget about them and move on, but I was miserable. I ended up going back to them last month and I started feeling happy for the first time in months. Now I feel sad again though because I can't be as close to them as I want. The whole situation is overwhelming and I'm suicidal every day because of it. I dont believe there is a solution, but I just wanted to talk about it.