Have to keep telling myself

Have to keep telling myself that I cannot afford to be depressed. Depression and other mental health issues are not for poor people like me. Do not know how to carry on, but carry on I must. Like I had said, too poor to give myself a break.

God sent Jehovian's witnesses to my door again. Wish God would just finish me off, kill me like he killed all my dreams of trying to rebuild my life. What good are Jehovian's witnesses to me and others like me? Aside from being an extra burden to make my miserable life more miserable. It is as if God enjoys torturing me.

Wish I never knew God. Since I cannot unknow him, I pray that his kingdom will be like my dreams of rebuilding my life.