Trapped

I feel trapped. I'm not allowed to be sad. He will tell me to stop. I feel so alone. I can't talk to anyone. If I talk to him, he will tell me to stop. Or he will be sadder than me and then I have to comfort him. I can't talk to my own partner. He's also keeping stuff from me. He takes medication I don't know about. Follows my sexy friend on IG when they don't even know each other. I guess it's true I never really knew him. I feel so alone. I don't have emotional support from him. It's impossible to bring anything up. I'm too emotional and illogical to him. My concerns gets shot down and dismissed. He says I'm important but... Actions, or inaction, speaks louder. I used to feel so safe and loved... I want to die