Spell for alchemising pain

So I’m looking for a spell that will alchemise the pain, anger, hurt, rage and regret from a 20 year relationship with a narcissist into self-love, strength, power and clarity as I forge my higher path.

Not looking for hex or justice spells spells here. Partly because this Dementor already sucked on my soul for so long and I want to call back my energy, not give any more. And also because when narcs hurt they take it out on their supply. Aka me.

Planning on doing: Protection spell Binding spell Cord cutting spelling Then the final alchemy spell

Help please and thank you