Overcoming Fear of Needles

I did it. I injected my first dose of stims last night, Gonal-F and Menopur, despite a lifelong lizard-brain fear of needles.

• Despite the fact that I get tunnel vision and nearly faint every time I get bloodwork unless I'm lying down in the "special chair".
• Despite the fact that I have to look away during every medical scene in movies.
• Despite the fact that just watching the injection training videos made me lightheaded.
• Despite the fact that I got a filling drilled this week with no anesthetic just to avoid the needle
• Despite the fact that I passed out hard when I got my ears pierced in my twenties and woke up on the floor with a mall cop waving smelling salts over my face.

I watched the videos over and over and over. I was ready. I was calm. Then I held the first needle over my stomach and stared at it, thinking "no way. this is insane." My husband counted down multiple times with me but my hand froze and wouldn't move.

I laughed, saying "This is wild. My body physically won't let me do it."

I almost made him do it. But after the fourth countdown...I did it. I have no idea how, or why, but I did it.

AND THEN I DID IT AGAIN.

I don't know what kind of supernatural strength overcame me. I think it bodes well for all the challenges to come. We'll see what happens tonight -- I hope it returns. And I hope it gets easier.

But today, I feel like a goddamned superhero.

I'd love to know what worked for anyone else dealing with a fear of needles.