I still want to die

I didn't expect meds to remove these thoughts, I don't know what I expected. I just want to die, I hate everything. I have to think of a good way to end it. One of the ways I tried was suffocation. I don't know if this is connected, but sometimes I randomly lose my ability to breathe, then I start to panic, and then I think about how I failed to end my life. I wish I were dead