Confession & mental illness/disorders

I am joining the church this Easter, praise God! But I am having THE hardest time knowing what is a sin worth confessing, and what is not a sin due to not knowing it was a sin at the time, and/or the act being because of mental illness or disorder.

I have ADHD and anxiety, and have struggled off and on with depression my whole life, and probably OCD. I was told all the time as a child that I was lazy, irresponsible, etc. and I fully believed it, I fully believed I was a bad, useless person, only to realize as an adult that it was due to mental health issues.

Once example is when my kids were little, I was chronically exhausted due to having three little ones age 5 and under, including a baby who constantly woke up in the middle of the night, and postpartum depression and postpartum OCD that would not allow me rest. So many days, I would lie on the couch and could hardly find the mental energy to get up and clean the house or cook a real meal. My kids would spend hours in front of screens, and I had a very short temper. Postpartum depression, severe anxiety, and sensory sensitivity due to ADHD would often present as rage, and I very frequently lost my temper with my kids, yelling at them and just being overall impatient and rude.

Another example would be irresponsibility. I was not aware that I had ADHD until adulthood. I wasted my college years skipping class, doing the least amount of work possible, being as lazy as could be. Now, I realize that medication would have been invaluable, and I also didn't have any adults present in my life offering guidance... I feel so awful for 18-year-old me who was depressed, going through a lot of big life changes, and didn't have the support I needed to do well in school.

These are just two example of "is it sin or mental illness?" Some sins are easy to identify, black and white. But sins of character or virtue or the heart??? I'm just lost. Looking back, I know there was a lot about my circumstances I couldn't change. I did the best I could with the resources I had, and I still feel shame and guilt for not being a perfect mom and doing poorly in school. I'm currently in therapy and dealing with this guilt. Because of my possible OCD, I tend to hyperfocus on things like this, huge feelings of shame and guilt, scrupulosity over sin and being good enough, being pleasing to God, etc. I tend to focus on my failures so much that I have lost a lot of good memories of my children's young years, because I just assume I was a terrible mother. I'm learning this is not true at all, but it's been a tough road.

I am just feeling very overwhelmed. The task of making a list of all I've done wrong feels so daunting. I'm so worried I'm going to miss something, or I'm going to confess tiny things that don't matter, and end up taking up too much of the priest's time. I'm also worried that through this journey of healing from trauma and learning to cope with mental disorders, I'm going to be opening a can of worms and putting too much focus on things that were NOT done with deliberate consent because of my disorders and circumstances.