I (18F) broke up with my 25M boyfriend, and the age gap icks me now

So, I (18F) recently broke up with my 25-year-old boyfriend, and honestly, looking back, the age gap gives me the ick. I met him online, and at first, it was all just casual chats and calls. He gave me butterflies over the phone, but deep down, I knew I never wanted to be in a relationship with him because of all the red flags. Still, I stuck around as a friend, which I now regret.

Some of the things he used to talk about:

How many women he had slept with

How some women wanted to sleep with him, but he wasn’t interested

How he found some aunty "very sexy"

His financial struggles

His love for his family

His pets

How he never wanted to marry anyone

Even with all this, he somehow convinced me to be in a relationship with him. But the way it happened was awful—he admitted he had "feelings to have sex with me" and played his tricks, saying, "I have so many girls to sleep with, but I only want to do it with you." Not exactly romantic, I know. Looking back, all he ever talked about was sex—my body, how sexy I was, etc.

Once we had sex, everything changed. The effort faded, the calls became less frequent, and I felt like he lost interest in me entirely. He started getting angry, yelling at me randomly, and even threatening to block me if I annoyed him. I kept clinging to the hope that things would go back to normal, but they never did. Eventually, he completely ghosted me.

I was devastated. I called him crying, begging to make things work, but his response still rings in my head: "No matter what you do—cry, beg—I can't do this anymore." Then, suddenly, he started talking about his financial struggles, how he was overworked, feeling suicidal, depressed, and avoiding everyone. At this point, I didn’t know what to believe.

But I couldn’t take it anymore, so I blocked him. And now, a small part of me feels selfish for cutting him off when he said he was struggling. But I know this was a toxic cycle—I’d express my feelings, regret it, and he’d only act like he wanted me when I tried to leave . he was keeping me hanging like a friend but it was not like a friend it was as disgusting as our relationship i knew he's trying to take advantage of me and I needed to stop I'm already damaged

It was a mess. There was so much more toxicity involved, but this is just the brief version. I guess I just needed to vent.