(23F) Struggling with Anxiety Over My Boyfriend’s (23M) Drinking Habits—Need Advice

my boyfriend (23M) lives at home with his parents and siblings. both his parents are functioning alcoholics. we have been dating for 3 years however have known eachother for 5. when i got close with him and at the start of our relationship he used to drink at home most nights - 6 pack of hard ciders. he got a license suspension due to this blowing over the morning after drinking which led to an ultimatum where i said he either stops drinking or i leave. since that day, he has genuinely bettered himself and changed his overall habits. he completely stopped drinking for 4 months and since then we came to an agreement where he would drink responsibly if we had an event or were going out but not at home. he has been doing so much better than what he used to be. he’s gone from drinking most nights to not at all except drinking on the irregular outing/event which we agreed on (maybe once every 4ish weeks). we’ve had a few hiccups where we have been out and he’s had too much to drink. i feel as if he can’t stick to his limits and boundaries sometimes and limit the level of drunk he gets. (he doesn’t get blackout but he gets pretty drunk). this makes me upset and anxious. however overall our relationship has been so much better as he has noticeably changed his habits.

the situation now is that i feel angry, anxious and upset whenever he wants to drink (on the odd occasion) because i fear that he will change back into he’s previous habits. when we go out to an event i feel as though i have to keep track of how much he’s had as i don’t want him to get too drunk. he doesn’t cause any issues when he’s drunk, except gets very sloppy. i feel anxious and ruin my own time worrying about what he’s drinking whenever we are out now. i’m not sure if my reaction is reasonable or how to navigate this?

another thing is that tonight he was playing pc with his friends which were having a few drinks and he told me he was going to drink at home while speaking to with his friends online. i was fine with this as it’s an odd occasion and he’s been doing well. he said he wouldn’t drink heaps tonight however i facetimed him before and he was completely drunk. my issue is i feel that once he starts drinking he can’t set a boundary and limit the amount he drinks. all of this makes me feel so angry and upset and im not sure what to do.

just to add, im 23F and i genuinely love this man so much and he treats me so well. our relationship has been so amazing and he is my best friend. i really do see a future with us and i want to make our relationship work. we’ve been through so much together and he is the most supportive person ive ever met and im so proud of the effort he put in to changing his previous habits.

i would really appreciate advice on what i should do. thanks in advance!

TL;DR My (23F) boyfriend (23M) grew up with alcoholic parents and used to drink heavily at home, leading to a license suspension. I gave him an ultimatum, and he made significant changes—now only drinking on rare occasions. However, when he does drink, he struggles to set limits, which makes me anxious and ruins my experience when we’re out. Tonight, he drank at home for the first time in a while and ended up way drunker than he said he would. I love him deeply, and our relationship is otherwise great, but I’m struggling with trust and anxiety around his drinking. Looking for advice on how to navigate this.