L

If I truly wanted I could’ve posted all your lies and abusive messages all over FB exposed for everyone to see (not just on Reddit where no one actually sees it.) I technically have the grounds to sue both you and J for emotional distress as it CAN be proven that though I already have underlying mental health issues, you both took objectively abusive actions (whether you want to admit it or not) that caused a serious decline in my mental health and ability to function/work. I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD because of the adoption and what you both did to me.

If I didn’t have such a big heart and a compassionate soul. I would’ve gone through with seeking compensation for my emotional state and gone all out with exposing you and J. I think sometimes you forget that I ve actually kept your dirty little secret for the most part. Aside from telling a few people close to me (one of which does happen to know you) I haven’t actually told anyone. Even my suicide note in December didn’t have your full names. There are many times I could’ve gone all out and exposed you publicly with your full names and I didn’t.

A few weeks ago when I posted the receipts of your lies about being a foster parent on here, I was very tempted to show you no more mercy and go all the way. I felt like a cornered dog and I was about to go for your jugular. I had enough of being lied to, intimidated, harassed, bullied, pushed over the edge, have salt rubbed in my wound after everything I’ve been through in the past year, being lied about, having my trauma used against me to manipulate me, having you try to take the Owl from me. Having you instruct people to harass me on your behalf (if that trashy, childish, abusive “Joanne” person who told me she hopes I “get the owl taken from me for good” is even real and not just you impersonating someone like I suspect)

I was going to post EVERYTHING. Show your name and FB account. Show all the receipts of your lies, your intimidation, your threats, your fake accounts, explain how you abandoned 🐻 called CAS on me and tried to take the Owl from me for no reason etc etc.. on FB exposed for everyone in the community to see. I was also going to start the process of filling the lawsuit to seek damages for my emotional state from you and J.

Then you dmed me with that account you deleted (yes, I know that was you). I think that was the most mature, rational and civilized conversation we ever had. Being civilized, not trying to threaten or intimidate me and being non accusatory goes a long way with me which is why I took down the posts on Reddit and decided not to take things further.

I think it’s true that when people act like bullies there’s always a source. People who are happy and content with themselves and their lives don’t go out of their way to hurt people like you did.

I think your bullying behavior tells me you aren’t happy in some way. Something is hurting in you so you need to redirect the pain elsewhere. When you reminded me of what Jeff did to you the proverbial light bulb lit up for me and I think I understood where the cruelty is coming from.

I think whether you have the insight to realize this or not, you actively participated in the abuse and enabled J to treat me the same way Jeff treated you. I think you did this because thirty plus years later there’s still some pain there. I figure maybe seeing me in a similar situation brought up those wounds causing me to become an unwitting target for your trauma. I think deep down you wanted me to sit in your pain with you and I certainly did.

It doesn’t justify your behavior. It will never make it right but understanding that your behavior was probably a reflection of the way you suffered makes me realize where you’re coming from. It makes me feel sad for you more than anything. It feels sort of like I indirectly became another victim of Jeff.

I’m truly sorry that you suffered in similar ways. I wish I could take your pain and my pain and make it disappear but I can’t.

I also think the message you sent me (I know that was you. If it wasn’t you I’d be happy to put the posts back up) was your own way of expressing some discomfort with my suffering. Even though you still wouldn’t take responsibility for your actions and still lie about what happened , the message did show you feel something even if it’s buried. Offering your own attempt at encouragement tells me you aren’t a soulless ghoul like I thought. There is some humanity to you deep down . Also, that you don’t necessarily take pleasure in seeing me suffering and the meanness is likely just redirected aggression.