Tough to make friends in Sarnia

I'd heard people here are cliquey, but man I didn't think it would be this bad trying to make friends.

I don't like drinking so going to clubs/pubs doesn't make sense for me. I'm not into sports so joining a team or going out to watch sports is out. I'm not into tabletop gaming or anything social that people consider "nerdy" (not judging, just not for me). I'm not much of a reader so book clubs are out. I'm not very academic so I can't say I really want to go take classes just to meet people. I don't like knitting, cooking, hiking, dogs, cats, movies, cars, or the outdoors.

I'm pretty introverted so I avoid talking to people unless it's absolutely necessary. And when I do I'm pretty short with everyone so they'll just leave me alone as quickly as possible lol.

All I'm hoping for is to be completely integrated into a friend group immediately. Preferably one exactly like friend groups I see in sitcoms like How I Met Your Mother or It's Always Sunny. Is this too much to ask?

I came to town seven hours ago and I still haven't found a friend group like that. Is it just me or is everyone in this city just totally stuck-up?