Do I text him and pour out all the anger I have?

I 25F was in a situationship that lasted 6 months. I got anxiously attached and initially he seemed sweet and as weeks went by he treated me like crap. He’s a liar and gaslighter and manipulator.

What stresses me out is the fact that when I was begging to meet him one last time because I was leaving the country forever and wouldn’t see him ever again, he said he wasn’t comfortable. Turns out it was because he was with someone else

I’m not entirely on the right side either. After every time we broke up, I would call him a 100 times literally - and begged for him to stay.

After 2 months of no contact, the glasses came off. And he was a bad person to be honest. He’d commented on my body, gave me the bare minimum, I took it because I believed when he said he was focusing on his work.

We lived in different cities and I’d always go see him. He not once has come to my town to see me.

But now he’s got a girl. I stalked his socials - which is bad. But that girl gets everything I yearned for - he goes to see her although she lives 2 hours apart. He treats her well.

We’re all Indians. He’s made very cloaked suggestive comments about my dark skin. The other girl is fair. He’s made fun of my body saying I look like a pencil. She’s a curvy woman. She belongs to his caste. I’m don’t.

He looks happy with her.

I want to let go, but I don’t know how. Because I allowed myself to be treated like crap. He never apologised for his actions. I was begging to fix things till the last moment.

We always fought. The last fight we had was when I called him out for liking a reel where the girl gets slapped for not being pretty enough. The meme was stated “when the ugly girl in your class has an attitude”. I called him a misogynistic pig. He blocked me everywhere without a conversation, I called a million times and begged him.

Nothing. Turns out this new girl is a girl he was already talking to while we were together.

How do I find peace? Has anyone felt this way? I’m here waiting for an apology from him. I’d never in a million years take him back. But I didn’t deserve this.

How do I stop expecting anything?