"Thats just how I was raised..." then why would you do it again?

I just replied to a comment that made me reflect on cultural influences and how they assist in perpetuating generational abuse.

Last year I finally broke down to my dad and cried to him about needing therapy, and for the first time ever he actually apologised for the way he raised me. It was brief, he barely looked at me, and we were stopped in traffic, but he still apologised. That still means something, I suppose.

He continued on with "we were just doing it the way we were raised", and that by itself also stuck with me ever since. If he knew how terribly his dad made him feel, why would he want to repeat it to his only son, his only child? The resulting emotional flashbacks and various coping mechanisms I've developed had gotten so bad that my doctor deemed it fit for me to take time off work to get help, as well as treatment for my then-undiagnosed ADHD - that's a whole other can of worms...

I'd never whip or hit my kids with all manner of household objects in private. I'd never do it in public, either, in front of his friends and family - knowing they won't do anything, because our culture sees it as a man of the house taking charge. He didn't even let mum have a bedroom door for a few years, and I thought that was normal (they've never shared a bedroom in my 25 years of existence). I sided with HIM when she would break down over the unpunished abuse, thinking she was acting out, because it was all normalised to me - Mum and I were nothing. We were just set dressings for him to look good in public, and kept on 'maintenance' at home.

After going through what he presumably went through to continue this god forbidden cycle, I simply don't understand why you would want to undertake the great task of guiding new life into this world knowing that you haven't even made it far enough in your own journey. I'm still unsure of my own, but I hope I can heal enough to where I don't have to bother asking myself that question