None of it was ever real

When I told you about it, my struggle all these years just to forget about you, your response just made it clearer to me that it's just me who put meanings to those moments, as if nothing was ever real for you. What sucks is that it should've gotten to me real bad, a reason to lose a grip of those moments, yet I still can't. I honestly don't know what to do anymore haha, what do I do to kill this delusion? It's been years, yet I'm still walking on that road, knowing you're not there anymore, but something inside me pushes through, wishing we'd cross paths.

I will never learn, will I? I need to wake myself. Back then, I refused to be pursued because it's too early to feel those butterflies, but now it's too late to daydream. There was never a right moment for us I guess. I know it's my fault, and I've been suffering from it for years now. Are you praying for this? I bet not, cause you've always been a good person, the only person that made me realized I deserved to be treated like that, it's the sole reason why I can't forget you. Will I ever will? Whenever I meet someone I always compare them to you. I'm stuck from the things we've never even had, it's just always that "what could've been?".