I might be ready to get it done tbh rant

i pass the same as a crossdresser does and im ready to buy sn at this point if the wind blows my hair away from my face i instantly turn into a man as that is what i fundamentally look like I dont want to continue dealing with these feelings

it's recently been 5 years since I've completely figured myself out and I can't believe what I even have to show for it this wasn't the happiness I thought I would have, it's so flimsy, one wrong look in the mirror makes my whole world collapse I was robbed of the chance to be myself and everything since then has just been a waste of time and energy, younger me should have done it right then and there when she heard I wouldn't be able to do anything about the dysphoria and because of that the fight wasn't even worth it, I had my chance and it was taken away

it's been nothing but a long marathon of grief and maybe I should quit trying now, its clearly been a fight for nothing, I know I will never afford ffs even if I may need it