I'd like to be a practicing Christian but it doesn't feel right to me anymore

I'd like to be able to find comfort in scripture or mass or prayer but it just makes me feel like an imposter becuase (1) I don't have the amount of faith I should have and (2) I feel like I do not belong because I'm gay.

I (25F) never thought I would make a reddit post but I don't have anyone I can talk to about this and I could do with some advice.

Some background: I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to church ever week and volunteered at church throughout primary and secondary school, but we were a fairly casually religious household. I'm glad my parents did not force religion on me: they taught me the basics but after a certain age what I did or did not do in terms of religion was totally up to me.
My mom will light candles and pray but does not see value in going to church. My dad cares more about religion, but in the 'love thy neighbour' way and not the 'sinners are going to hell' way.

I will not lie: my (now former) local pastor was terrible at preaching so I quickly came to the conclusion that I liked going to church because it was calm and it made me feel like I was part of a larger community.
That changed when I realised I was a lesbian and that the community I has considered myself to be a part of would judge me for that.
It did not matter that I was a good Christian in other ways; the fact that I would never have the husband and kids they expected me to have was the only thing that mattered in terms of who I was. I felt like an imposter and I stopped going to church shortly before I left for college.

I thought I was done with religion because too many people used faith as a tool for hatred. Besides, I have always been scientifically inclined and I have never been able to make myself believe in God or scripture the way my church wants me to believe in God. I saw most of it as metaphorical.
That's not even touching on the part where I cannot see God as both all knowing and kind because of all the misery that exists in the world. I know some people can combine the two, or that they can find meaning or purpose in it, but I have never been able to.

I settled on being agnostic, but when someone needed an operation or died, I still found myself feeling a need to go to some chappel or church to light a candle for them along with saying a little prayer. It feels silly but I still do it.