Something I just realised about my relationship

I've been so caught up worrying and overthinking about every single thing he does that I've never even considered the idea that my boyfriend might actually, genuinely like me. Wtf. It never even crossed my mind until now.

I always argued with myself over whether the problem is that he's lying to himself about how much he likes me, he's just settling for me, or he secretly thinks I'm ugly despite liking my personality— but there being a problem at all was something I just took for granted. Then earlier today when we were together, I was closely watching him for signs that he hates me as usual lmao and I suddenly noticed how much he smiled around me, the way he looked at my face (which I tbh always thought was too hideous for anyone to like), how he felt so comfortable sleeping with his head on my lap. And, like, I realised as I was going home that my boyfriend might like me.

It sounds so fucking dumb it's kind of funny that my self esteem is so low I have to "realise" that the guy who asks me on dates, calls me cheesy pet names, and has frequent sex with me PROBABLY likes me. He's said he loves me and yet I still have a hard time believing he even enjoys my company. I've been feeling shitty about our relationship the past week (to the point of pushing him away and wanting to break up multiple times) but I'm really happy about this realisation, and I'm hopeful that maybe getting to a point where I can feel secure in our relationship IS possible