Is it weird or wrong not taking my complete birthname back?

I've got my ID changed and in future I wanna change it back. Part of that is my name. I got two birtnames and never felt comfortable with them. When it comes to the first name, and it‘s refering me, I kind of hate it. I feel digusted. With the years I started to like my second one, and am actually thinking bout to take it back as my second name. (I like it but I don‘t really want people to call me that, just like it was back then lol) For my first name, I was firtsly thinking about a kind of female version of my chosen male name. Now, I can't decide between this and a „nickname“ of my first birthname. Even before I got my ID changed I thought „oh I could've had THIS nickname, why did no one call me like that?! I like this name a lot!“ and since I figured this nickname is actually a name itself aswell I thought „well, what about taking this?“ It would be like my birthname then again just a bit shorter and more comfortable for me tho. Funny thing, both names I have in mind now are basically the same, only the first letter is another but they give me such different vibes in a way. I feel like when I tell my family it would be easier for them to get with the shorter birthname version, even tho am still afraid my mom especially could be sad or something that I don't take the full one back.. For my friends and so on the other name would be more logical. I like and feel comfortable with both names. Am struggling with deciding which one to chose in the end.. but I know with both I am kinda scared that people think it's weird in general, that I should just take my birthname as it is when I already come to this point.. Idk if that all makes sense. Thanks for everyone who read tru all this!