Where do I find a girl with a magical vagina?

Apparently ALLLLLLLLLLLLL I need to do in life to make it better is "to get laid". So I would like to know which one of the girls out there has some magical parts to fix the economy, or perhaps end r-a-c-i-s-m? Or would it be some voodoo thing that pays my rent for me? Oh I know, someone has some cancer-curing juices I can use to get my mom better? Yeah thats it, find me a cancer-curing coochie to make my life less hectic. PLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?