Im tired of myself

Hi! Ang daming nangyayari recently sa akin, sa family and sa friends ko. I considered going to therapy because my stomach hurts when I think about it all. Parang ang bigat, for context these past few months:

• my mother left us for her boyfriend
• my sisters were warfreaks
• my (I thought) closest friend got hurt when I asked her if she is just using me because when I communicated my availability she said sorry for trying to ask for favors when nararamdaman nyang distant ako. Im not trying to be distant, I got sickly and I was in a mess that time kaya di ko kaya samahan sya
• my eldest sisters wanted me to understand and adjust for them again about finances but my every being says its unfair and I just dont wanna do that anymore, Im too tired
• my relatives are the same, I know they dont like me at all
• my eldest sisters said nanunumbat ako when I was just willing to help my younger siblings kasi kaya kong tulungan sila. I was told na nanghihingi lang daw tulong sinusumbatan pa when I dont have that intention in mind. Comfy ako magshare nung una but I was constantly dismissed as being disrespectful when Im trying to communicate my thoughts and feelings through chats. I stopped talking to them because it gets hard to breath when I think about saying something to someone who had prejudices and a fixed mindset kahit ano pa sabihin ko.

Im in the dumps, its very hard to breath or that my stomach hurts when Im thinking of having to communicate or meet with my sister on April. I just dont like to associate myself with them anymore.