my brother touched me and I can't look at him the same

I (16f) have a brother (18M)

This happened when I was around 12-13 and we were spending the weekend at a mountain cabin with my family

Me and him had to share a bed, it was late at night and we were alone in the room. There was no internet in the house so I wanted to sleep since I had nothing else to do.

My brother wanted to talk since he wasnt tired, but I told him no multiple times and just ignored him. He started to poke me to try and piss me off but i staid "asleep" until he started to move his hands all around my stomach.

Before I could react he touched my private part under my pants, and I just FROZE. He touched my chest too and that's when I sat up and yelled "What are you doing?!"

He got pissed at me and said "Well you were ignoring me!". I got so damn anxious and I didn't know what to do. I was mad and just said I was going to brush my teeth and went outside the room

He followed me and I locked myself in the bathroom and just stared at my reflection for a couple of minutes trying to make sense of what just happened.

When I finally went out he was laying on the bed with his phone and I just got into the sheets and turned towards the wall. None said a word and I just tried to fall asleep.

To be honest I don't remember anything else from that trip. It's like my mind blocked that memory for like 2 years and it just came back.

I been thinking about it non-stop for months now and I feel pure disgust and anger towards him, I feel so dirty whenever I think he's looking at me and I just try to avoid being near him.

He is just a horrible person and this just adds up to all the resentment I have towards him, I actually feel nauseous when he talks to me.

To this day no one knows and I have not said a word anywhere until now, I just want to tell someone