premenstrual and agitated with roommate!!!

Feel free to comment (especially if this resonates with you), but I’m not looking for solutions or explanations of my roommate’s mental illness. I know that she cannot helps some things and I know what I need to do to make my living circumstances better for me, I just need to rant for a moment.

My roommate of 2 years (going into year 3) is just getting on my last nerve. We’ve become very close friends so the good definitely outweighs the bad, but everything is just irritating me this week 😵‍💫

She has anxiety, PTSD, OCD, depression, and chronic pain. In general, I have tremendous empathy for how difficult life is juggling so much accumulated physical and emotional pain, but right now I’m not going to be empathetic. In a lot of ways, what I’m about to say doesn’t reflect how I feel about her, but it’s how I feel in this moment.

I’m so fucking sick of all the little things I gotta do each day to keep her happy. And I’m sick of her being a fucking weenie about everything. I don’t even know where to start.

Of the little things the one that itches at me most is her request about egg shells in the garbage disposal. Basically every morning I make two eggs and throw the shells in the disposal. She requested that I turn the disposal on right after so that the egg shells go away. This is because of her contamination OCD. She believes that if they stay in there, when the faucet is on, the egg germs splash back up into the sink basin and get on other things 🙄. It’s a very small request, so I do it, but I feel like she’s stupid. I understand her logic, but what she doesn’t know is that I also rinse the bowl and fork I used to beat the eggs in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher. Eggs germs are already all over the sink and that’s part of why we use antibacterial dish soap. Not gonna tell her that bc I’m sure it’ll lead to rumination but Jesus Christ get a grip. If the egg germs kill you, you won’t be around to know you’re dead anyway. It won’t matter. that’s why we fucking wash shit before using it.

She has really good people skills but I guess some social anxiety as well. We went to a murder mystery party recently (it was two of her friends hosting so she knew more people than me) and anytime we were talking and then I went to change rooms (we all had missions to complete), she’d be like “wait don’t leave me!”. I truly don’t know why that got on my nerves so much, but i was so tempted to be like grow up, who cares if these people think you are awkward etc, they don’t even know you. It was also a first, she has never done that in a social setting before so it felt like she didn’t really need it.

Her anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain also make her flaky and sometimes I just feel like she isn’t trying. I’m almost certain that’s not true, but i think it bothers me because she says yes to things instead of being realistic about what she actually has capacity for. I don’t understand why she makes any sort of plans on weeknights when she ends up being too warn out from work EVERY TIME. like Jesus Christ learn from the goddamn pattern. I’m usually not the person she is bailing on but it’s just lame behavior.

I think it bothers me today because it feels specifically linked to the fact that it’s people she doesn’t know coming over to our house for dinner. Her excuse is her chronic pain and a cough she’s had for a few days, but the cough was not an issue at all when it was us hanging out in the house over the weekend.

For whatever reason she can’t relax if there are people she’s not close with in the house, even if there’s zero expectation that she interact with them. It means that sometimes we can’t have people over and I’m just like Jesus Christ, can u learn to deal with some of your shit for once?? Like either that or live alone. Idk what the purpose of treatment and therapy is if you just continually avoid the things that trigger you.

Idk. it’s the first day of my premenstrual phase and I just feel incredibly riled. She has been going through it for a minute now and I’m just sick of being around her miserable all the time. In my personal opinion, some of the things she’s upset about are her own fault. She’s somehow devastated that the CEO at her job didn’t respect her “no”. She came home crying and furious about it for a week. While I understood her frustration, I genuinely wanted to slap her like….babes what did u expect?? It’s the CEO. she doesn’t give a crap about you, why did u think this was gonna go your way?? I think it extra bothered me because the whole thing was on someone else’s behalf, like it was important to my roommate, but didn’t actually impact her. It felt like a level of entitlement that’s entirely foreign to me. I can’t relate and I’m sick of bearing witness 🙄

There’s def more but akdhskhfjshfkshfurjdhrks thank u for listening