How to lessen extreme emotional states

I feel like I was able to work on a lot of things since my diagnosis. I know how to keep working on communication with my partner, I have plans on how to generally improve my life (physical activity, taking care of eating properly) etc. There are still a lot of issues but I feel like I can work on many of them.

The only thing I feel I have no control over are the extreme emotional states.

Whenever uni gets too hard, I crash out. Excessive crying, self harm, the urge to drink. Which then leads to depressive states and everything that comes with that.

That’s a thing I don’t know how to deal with.

And it’s being triggered by things I cannot avoid. I have to study, I have projects to finish, I have to do assignments.

But whenever it gets a bit too tough, I’m crashing out. I try again and again and it always ends up the same way. I hate feeling like this for hours, it never passes, I just feel like this for hours, have to take breaks because if I don’t, the emotional state gets so intense I’m scared the self harm will get even worse.

The only thing that has helped was ritalin, it worked like magic, but I don’t have access to that. My therapist said, after we looked more into it, that I can’t have adhd (she suspected it at first)

I know how to avoid mental breakdowns in other situations (arguments with partner) but not in these.

I get scared it’ll stay like that forever, I’m scared that I will stay when I finish uni and will continue at my future job. I get scared I won’t be able to work properly or that it will constantly feel like hell. I don’t want to live like that.