Recognising my own behaviour but don’t know why I do it

I am sometimes picking fights with my boyfriend for no good reason. For example: I sometimes have a bit of trouble with my boyfriend not always showing initiative, now it's not as bad as we knew from past exes for example, but my boyfriend also sometimes has a pretty wait-and-see attitude. Yesterday I had another hassle with physio (I have really bad back pain and everyone keeps sending me away) And he texted me with the suggestion to call in the evening, which is nice and I replied that I had a meeting in the evening but other then that I was free. Then he texted me at 9pm saying "oh nice" in reply to this. and I could have texted back with: “okay are we going to call now” or “I'm done with my meeting we can call like you suggested earlier” but actually I didn't want that because I wanted him to do that. He then didn’t write anything after the “oh nice” text and also didn’t call me. So around 11pm I just sent "sure" passive aggressively. Still no response and only at half past twelve at night he replied. Well my irritation was already huge and here is where I find myself toxic, because I became mad at him even tho I also did not take initiative myself. This morning I called him and he explained he waited last night until I would indicate when I could make the phonecall. So yes we apparently both waited on eachother... that may be true but WHY did he wait like that? why didn't he just say "and can we call now??" and from my side: why do I want that so much? Why can’t I put my own ego, pride, insecurity, whatever it is aside and say “Hey you wanted to call right, now I can” and instead I am picking a fight with him. I hate this part about myself but honestly I am still feeling very weird about