"Your life is too chaotic to get trauma therapy right now,come back in a year".

I get it but im still frustrated as it's the THIRD time I've tried to start up trauma therapy. First round I was told no because I was going into a custody battle, the next time I was told no was because of my eating disorder and got sent to therapy for that and promised trauma therapy when I was done (still got told no) and today because I broke up with my now ex in the beginning of January and I moved out of my parents place in the start of February.

And I get that things have to stay somewhat stable to get any use out of trauma therapy but I am seriously drowning, they know it and my doctor knows it, I am just grasping for straws at this point,I even asked for talk therapy just anything and anyone to talk to so I can feel like a human being but I was told no.

I however made a doctors appointment so I can discuss medication with him because I need to just numb my brain, I have managed to stay sober but I am so close to just relapsing and throwing my entire life away because my head is too crowded. I am a mother and I know if I let go of the straws I'm grasping I won't have my kid anymore and I can't let that happen, I just can't do that to him but I am drowning.

Man this just sucks.