‘Coming out’

Hi! I (17f) have known that I wasn’t straight since around age 12. I was never ashamed of this fact, I told myself that I loved & accepted my bisexuality, & even came out to 2 of my close online friends.

However… I didn’t come out to anyone in real life, & always justified this to myself by saying things like:

• “I shouldn’t have to come out, people shouldn’t just assume that I’m straight because I haven’t said otherwise”
• “it’s not their business who I’m attracted to”

Despite my being in the closet, my closest friend at the time (a very devoted Christian) knew without me ever having to tell her. I have a distinct memory of one day in Spanish class, our teacher was late & we played “kiss, kill, marry” out of boredom. She gave me female options with no fuss about it, a silent yet supportive acknowledgement that I will forever appreciate with my whole heart & soul. It’s the act that gave me the courage to come out.

I’d realised that my justifications for me being in the closet were complete lies that I was telling myself to hide the fact that I was absolutely terrified of coming out.

I started small, telling 2 of my irl friends (one gay man, the other an unlabelled wlw), only to be met with an abundance of biphobic comments completely disregarding my sexuality & experiences.

That really knocked my courage, & I haven’t told anybody since.

I hate that I’m confined into hiding that I’m bi, & it makes my sexuality almost feel like a burden that I have to carry, which is the opposite of what it should be. I really wholeheartedly wish to come out. I want to feel proud in who I am. But I’m so scared.

Please, if anybody has any tips or stories, share them. I’d love to hear opinions from my fellow bisexuals.