My trauma has made me so lonely

Every time I experience Traumatic event I get lonelier. It becomes harder and harder for people to understand me. Only my best friends I see all the time get it because they’ve seen me go through all the stages. I have so many close friends I’ve stopped seeing because it hurts too much to have to think of all the things they don’t know; I feel like they don’t even know me without knowing all the things that have happened to me. I’ve lost so many people from my trauma, and it’s not even anyone’s fault but mine. I’m so fucking lonely