My neighbor stole my Amazon package… what’s the worst way to handle this?

So, my package was marked as delivered, but it’s nowhere to be found. I’m 99% sure my shady neighbor took it. Instead of doing something rational like talking to them or contacting Amazon, I need objectively terrible advice on how to handle this.

Should I start redirecting all their mail to Antarctica? Train a flock of crows to harass them? Fake my own disappearance and frame them?

Let me hear your worst ideas.