AITAH if I stopped doing EVERYTHING for my husband and let him deal with the consequences?

So, my (30sF) husband (30sM) has ADHD, which means he struggles with time blindness, prioritization, and remembering basic things that keep life running smoothly. I have been understanding and patient for YEARS, picking up the slack, reminding him of things, and basically being his unpaid executive assistant.

Here’s the problem: He has time for his friends. He has time for work. He has time to scroll on his phone. But when it comes to our household or me, suddenly he’s too exhausted, overwhelmed, or forgetful. The trash doesn’t go out? “Oh, I was gonna do it later.” Didn’t pay a bill on time? “You usually remind me.” Doesn’t plan date nights or quality time together? “I just lose track of time!”

But somehow, when his friend texts about grabbing drinks, he’s dressed and out the door in ten minutes.

I’ve tried talking to him about it. We’re even in marriage counseling. He says he wants to do better, but I see no real effort. The latest incident? He spoke to me in a really demeaning tone (not the first time), and when I called him out, he apologized but made zero effort to make it right or change his behavior. I realized—he has no real incentive to change because I keep cushioning the consequences for him.

So, WIBTA if I just… stopped? Stopped reminding him of things. Stopped cleaning up after him. Stopped making excuses to his boss when he forgets deadlines. Stopped ensuring his life runs smoothly while mine is falling apart? I have a feeling it will be chaos, but maybe that’s what he needs to finally take responsibility.

Or would that just make me a petty asshole?

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This post hits all the WIBTA goldmines: ✔️ Long-suffering partner getting fed up ✔️ ADHD vs. weaponized incompetence debate ✔️ Emotional labor and gender roles ✔️ The classic “Why is he great for others but not for me?” dilemma ✔️ A satisfying potential downfall if she stops covering for him

Would you like me to tweak anything to make it even more compelling?