Admitting To My Crush

Admitting To My Crush

Hey I'm an 16 year old male, and I have always been in love with this girl. I'm not giving her real name, but I'll call her Leah. The first time I met her was 2021, when i was 13 and she was 13, she was from my old school for a long time and that day when I joined that and that day when i actually looked in her eyes stupidly enough I kind of fell in love with her gaze I know roast me in the comments but its a fact i can't change. So let me tell you what occurred in those 3 years or some of what I can remember. When I was seated with her on my first year in school she occasionally sleeps like lays her head on the table but me i sometimes do that but I was never a good student back then and made friends with her friends and some of out friend group which the ironic thing that her old friends were in my primary school and well there I'm not getting into that because this mainly about her. Anyways I couldn't talk to her that year. I did my best to, but I'm not good enough because of my unsociable personality, and I stutter still do to this day. And I always liked her but that time I didn't focus on school or her and I blame myself for doing this bullshit I regret but then came the next year I was focusing hard did all my homework and I was doing my well for my first term and there the first time i somehow did something to kind of get Leah attention but it was the most dumbest and not kind of way girls will like i kind of wrote her a letter saying that i want to like be your friend and i put my discord name in a cake box that my principal Alvin gave me on my birthday but i didnt want the cake cause i needed something to get her attention but I was still Unsosciable me. She thanked me and took the cake home and on the same day on my birthday i kept thinking about her i geniunely loved her and i imagine her being there celebrating my birthday with me and I ate thar at this steak house or some bar but there were like performers singing songs from queen, The beatles what a classic and some Elvis Presley but you get the point and that night i wanted to sing on the stage i know i kind of have stage fright but i gotten rid of it by thinking that she was there but i kind of pour my heart out for her and the song i was singing was Blink 182 all the small things , I listen to that song most of the time and yeah that song was ended good i felt happy made my wish that I wanted to be with her and make her the happiest girl in the world and I blew off the candle that day ended. Well, the next day, she added my discord, and I accepted at first. i didn't know it was her, so I said hi , " Do I know you?" She replied it was her so I kind of felt happy that she read my letter. But here's the thing I gotten to far from getting her discord and I texted her and one time I called her but one time she didn't reply to my message I repeat the same question on a different day but when she didnt i kept on doing it but i stopped because she didnt replied again so i decided to text every 4 days sometimes a whole week one text but then one day she was online i texted her it was during the night she blocked which I totally agree with her for my dumbass to get block for overtexting her what i dumbass i was back then. So when the next day came i tried to talk to her, to apologise what i have done, she kept avoiding me and she did that the whole year and i just stopped and i wasnt the same guy i was i was so sad to my core and i would think deeply like a lot and sometimes cry wanting to talk to her but that showed i was weak so i stopped. I completely went cold and sometimes a bit nerdy but grew taller back then I was focus on tearing myself away and i got bullied from racism or whatever the fuck it was but i determined to lose her from my head and i didnt become any better i wasnt doing well for my exams i struggled so much but eventually finally left my old school at 2024. Now, this year was ok so far when I left to my new school or centre that preps people for old levels subjects from the basics in months before the exam starts. Then I saw her again she left the same year I left she was there and I kind felt everything flashing back this time she was different she was kinder then before she looked beautiful as ever but still her same height but aside from that she dyed her hair brown and yeah but still was the same girl I loved before and now I want to talk to her now since I have a deep masculine voice I kind of been talking to her for less time from before because she has tuitions for different subjects which I try to make every second count and one occasion I gave her Like bottles of Turka Cola or basically Turkish coca cola and it was in glass bottles and she enjoyed it I guess that what i hope for but the point is that about how am I going to admit to her about all of this right? Well, here it is, I'm making her a gift box that folds into a net of a cube and some chocolates like ferro rocher chips more or another version from the Brand Chips Ahoy! and some Cadbury Dairy Milk Bars and the oreo version and kit kat bars and 2 bottle of Turka Cola and I'm getting her a psychology book called "MINDSET" by Carol S.Dweck because she loves psychology and love letters and birthday card I already made the love letter and I wrote alot in there and I want her to take her time reading it. And I geniunely want her to say yes and if she does no its fine because not everyone deserves an happy ending and I really need to get this off my chest and I know there is also college which is surprising cause she Is also joining and also monash University and medical school with me and she wants to be psychiatrists and I hope for her all her dreams to come true even though I'm may not be in hers and I want to wish her all the best and I'll love her forever 💖. And don't worry guys ill be making updates for everything and I'll record videos for you guys to experience everything for her birthday constructing the present and everything and make sure tune in for the update and all you handsome men and beautiful women out there to love yourself and love your partners with all your love and time and always admire the small things of what they do. Like how I told her that I admire small details because they are also the parts that make us whole. Anyways, bye, and I'm signing off.