AITA Or Are My Friends Simply Not Helping Me?

Okay, Reddit, Since I seem to be the antagonist in my own tale, I need an objective assessment of this. Although my so-called "friends" seem to disagree, I believe I'm an amazing friend who is available, supportive, and full of financial opportunities. Let's dissect it:

1. The Rule of Three Hours

I am always available. I'm ready to hang out whether it's a random Thursday night or Monday morning. However, my friends always say they're "busy" or "have work" when I ask them to go out. Are you saying that you can't give me three hours in a seven-day workweek? That's less time than I would otherwise spend arguing with customer support about  “fraudulent” gambling charges.

2. Fine Dining

I expect a decent meal when we do go out. A genuine sit-down dinner, not some drive-thru bs or a "quick bite." A menu. service at the table. A place that doesn't make fun of me for remaining three hours without placing an order (yes, I've been barred from some places). Nevertheless, my alleged friends have the audacity to propose food courts. food courts. Do I appear to be dining next to a Cinnabon?

3. Immediate Interaction

I anticipate a prompt response when I text. Anything more than 60 seconds is unacceptable, but I'm not saying I need a 0.5-second response like my bookie does. My friends can manage a response while feigning to be at work if I can respond while I'm in the middle of making yet another wager that I can't lose.

4. The Financial Investment Plan

Yes, I may have asked for a loan or two. But in my defense, I always make it sound like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—because it is. Yet now, I’m suddenly the bad guy? Fine. You know what? I’m done asking for loans. From now on, I will simply expect my friends to cover expenses whenever we go out. It’s a loyalty program—one that I have personally designed, and they are all automatically enrolled in.

5. The Theory of One-Bet-Away

Some people have hobbies. I have ambition. And yet, whenever I mention placing just one more bet, my friends act like I’m some kind of lost cause. They don’t see the vision. They don’t understand that I am always on the verge of a big win. And even if I’m not, that’s none of their concern.

Ultimately, all I want is for my friends to recognize the incredible impact I have on their lives. Excitement is what I bring. I offer financial prospects. I have unforeseen Venmo requests.

Reddit, tell me, am I the issue or are my friends simply not living up to my perfectly reasonable expectations?