Am i narccistic or do I have something else?

so here’s the thing, I don’t know a whole lot about this stuff. don’t even know if this is the right channel to ask if I am narcissistic but I’ve been like this my whole life and need help. I hate being vulnerable towards somebody i don’t know so therapy Isint an option just yet. but anyways, my best friend recently died and i didn’t feel a thing. The only thing that came to mind when they died was how they can’t do anything for me anymore. That’s the only thing that made me upset. And I’ve known them since I was 3 years old. There’s instances where a lot of people I’ve known passed away. I felt nothing at all. I can’t really show emotions towards others, I don’t feel remorse or pity for others but I genuinely enjoy fabricating lies in my head and feeding those lies to people so they could pity me and give me validation. Sometimes I believe them myself. I can’t stop lying. I lie to everybody for attention. i hate getting grades below A. I sit in the mirror for hours on end in the morning and I take constant pictures of myself and post them. I’ve followed strict diets and cardio and constant discipline. I take a lot of potassium and collagen. I’ve been spent hundreds of dollars in good quality skincare products. i constantly lead on females and men that like me, i get bored of them easily when they’re not useful or actively giving me something i want or need. And I have a gigantic ego. I critize my own “friends” constantly if I see any sort of bloating or acne on their face I normally don’t have anybody I would consider my friend just people that talk to me in school from time to time that consider me their friend so it checks out. I can’t stand fat people. And I hate people who have acne and I hate seeing people that don’t take care of themselves or overeat in public. sometimes I fake being nice to get something out of them. Googles free of course. And these traits represent some of the traits you need to be narcissistic but I need a response from another perspective, if they can see any other things I have.