AMA: what to do about mom intruding on my relationship

I (F20) woke up on Friday morning, and the first thing I noticed was my mom’s concerned face. She wanted to me to ask my boyfriend (M25) to go out more, not be at his place all the time when we are together because she assumes we fuck all night. And she doesn’t care to know what actually happens, only what she thinks happens. I try to speak up and get shut down. I don’t think she actually cares about what goes on in my head. Only that it's not the same as hers and I should change

Because of this, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about our weekend plans on the phone as she asked me to change them. He was on his way to work, I was at home doing an assignment. I suggested going to a pub for St. Patrick’s day… he said it would suck. Then I doubled down because I wanted to go out and it was just an excuse to but he wasn’t happy. With a change in conversation he brought up that when I sleep over at his that he doesn’t get to sleep in as much … so I asked if I should plan on returning home that evening instead. He got upset at the idea that I thought he preferred sleep over me, but isn’t that what he implied? He said that it was a bad idea, over, and over, and over, until I told him to stop speaking to me that way. My hand shook out of frustration and a tear went down my face. 

I hated the way I was. Unable to hold in the flood behind my eyes while my mom stood beside me and listened to my conversation. She looked mad that we had fought. Mad at me more than him. Again. I was not allowed to fight, show anger, sadness, stress, fear, frustration. Only joy, happiness, and gratitude. She always listened, watched, recorded in her mental camera. She remembered everything bad I did and she can’t remember when she called me names or insults. She shows some kindness in the moment then switches and says I’m a baby and how will I ever live alone. 

But wasn’t she right, because he didn’t like the change. And I should change how I see him. So I spoke that evening with him and we worked it out, but I didn’t even mention half the things she told me because they were flat out wrong. (she says we don’t go out even though we only ever really sleep at his). I went home and I told her we fixed it and spoke about our behaviours. 

She says he is manipulating me and if he doesn’t come over to talk to him about respecting me. And she’s mad that I cried over the argument and we are supposed to travel to meet his family in 3 weeks. But it wasn’t just the argument, it was the lack of trust, the meddling, the way I keep giving in to her even if it costs me him. I was a wreck but she kept pushing and pushing my emotional buttons that when him and I spoke I couldn’t hold it back.