i don't know if i should break up with my girlfriend or not.

so im in a bit of a complicated relationship, i have two girlfriends, (and at one point three). they are both dating me and they know about each other, its a polygamy type relationship but they aren't into each other. i should also mention its a ldr. another thing to mention is this is my first ever real relationship and i am pretty young.

so what happened is a couple of months ago one of them came to see me in person for the first time and i simply put, felt unattracted to her. and i feel so guilty about it. she is so nice and sweet but i feel like im just not attracted to her physically. ive told her how i felt and she was very understanding of it and i just think maybe we aren't a match. i feel guilty about it everyday because she deserves better.

my other girlfriend i haven't met yet, but im scared of the same thing happening. and today we had an argument (kind of) and i told her i felt like i cant do this anymore. we decided to stick together but now i feel like i made a mistake. i just dont feel happy with her anymore.

things were so good at first, but then my ex one day starting ghosting me and we broke up. ever since then i feel as if things went downhill.

its all just becoming too much for me. i need therapy but i have no way of getting it yet and this relationship is draining me, i worry everyday and feel so lost. i wanted things to work out but maybe they're just not for me? its becoming too much. what do i do? i need to make a decision now because this has gone on long enough.