Maybe not for me?

Long story short. A year ago after smoking weed for 10 years all day everyday out of the blue evey time I smoked I got weed induced panic attacks. I stop smoking weed but the panic attacks has kept happening everyday since for the past year. SSRIs don't help. The only thing that helps is Klonopin. But I don't want to take that forever. I'm also during CBT with a therapist which doesn't seem to help. I'm not clinically depressed. I get depressed sometimes thay this is happening to me everyday. So that's why I'm trying in home ketamine.

Doctor want me to do 100 mg 2x week for a month. Next month 200 mg 2x week and next month 400mg 2x week and then start bringing the dose back down.

Got my ketamine in mail and Thursday was my first time and I only did 25 mg. Nothing much but a little fuzzyness for a hour and was like I had a hangover the rest of the day.

Today I decided to do the rest of the troche which was 75 mg. Same fuzziness but more intense. I'm doing the eye covers and music with it. But this time I got that weed induced panic feeling when it started to kick in. It went away about 20 mins later and about another 20-30 mins i was fine and seemed like the feeling from the ketamine was subsiding so I took my headphones and eye cover off and smoked my a cigarette. Then I fixed me a coffee and drunk half of it and then the full blown panic attack set in so i took a Klonopin and had to wait it out. Feeling better now but still fuzzy in the brain. Maybe the coffee did it to me. Maybe the cigarettes??

My problem with taking this ketamine is going to be the feeling of being high which my brain seems to refer that feeling to me smoking weed and gives me a panic attack. I really don't know how I will do 200 or even 400 mg. The past year I've been in a cycle of panic attacks when I feel any bit weird and it all started with the weed. So I really don't know how to proceed with this therapy knowing it will make me feel weird and I'll go into panic mode. Any advice?