I wish I could just tell my parents that I want to die and they would let me

Title says it all, I feel exhausted an undeserving of a life. I am a loser who doesn't really do anything except play video games and work a part time job. College dropout, it feels tedious to me. Life itself feels tedious and like a formality that I wish I could just skip. I don't want to breathe anymore, I don't want to have to figure out what to eat. I don't want to do anything but not exist. The only thing that stops me is knowing how upset my family and friends would be, but I know I would be happier if I didn't exist, ever since I was kid that's all I wanted, was to not be born. I probably won't because I'm a coward, and am too fearful of my parents being heartbroken. But idk these days I am just ready to die and give up.