Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

I recently started sleeping with a guy, let’s call him “Jim”, that I’ve known for a long time but we fell out of touch for about a decade. We’ve hung out a few times, slept together twice, and I let him know upfront I’m not interested in pursuing anything further than what it is currently (just got out of something extremely traumatic), he made the same thoughts known, we’ve just been FWB, no complaints.

EXCEPT — I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend he’s not willingly admitting to. He admits he has a fuck buddy he calls his “cougar” (insert eye roll here). She’s about 15 years his senior, and they see each other every 3 months. At first he made it seem like she was just someone he has occasional sex with when the opportunity arises, but the more I found out, the more I’m second guessing the nature of his relationship with her regardless of what he’s telling me. He also fully knows that I refuse to sleep with anyone in a relationship (idc if it’s open/closed, long distance, etc, I just am not gonna willingly contribute to someone being hurt.)

First sign for me — she called when we were together and he told me “shh” while he was on the phone with her. I mentioned this later and he said “oh, she knows I sleep with other people, she just doesn’t want to hear about it.”

Second sign — they’ve been doing this for FOUR YEARS.

Third sign — she’s in a group chat with his parents ??

Fourth sign — they don’t go on “vacations” with each other which is what he originally said, at first he told me that she was a sugar mama and would pay for him to go on vacations together several times a year. They go to each others respective homes during these “vacations” lol. He’s currently living at his parents house and while he waits to get deployed again, so they next time she comes into town, she will be staying at his parents house with THEM and HIM.

Fifth sign — he keeps saying if he meets the right woman, he will leave the “fuck buddy” behind. He’s had this opportunity occur in the past, and rather than do this, he tried to introduce the fuck buddy to the new woman he was dating so they could have a threesome, and the new girl was like fuck this I’m out? (Which DAMN RIGHT LMAO TF ?!)

Sixth sign — the “fuck buddy” agrees with him (allegedly) that they are “committed to no commitment” — this is an oxymoron to me? Four years is a long time to be committed with no commitment?

He says that he made his feelings known when they first started, but I’m assuming that his “girlfriend” is only telling him what he wants to hear bc it’s worked thus far and she’s kept him around for this long.

I added the conversation for transparency, I really don’t think I’m wrong about this. I think he’s either blind or delusional or just plain lying to himself or to me.

AIO for thinking my (35f) FWB (33m) has a girlfriend he won’t admit to?