Feeling down 😔

I'm writing this not for attention, but as a way to express and process my thoughts. If you're reading this and it doesn’t make sense, I apologize.

I’m a 30-year-old guy who has only been in one relationship, which lasted six months. Unfortunately, she was more interested in what I could give her—gifts and presents—than in me as a person.

I’ve always longed for a meaningful relationship, one that would last. I tried hard in school, then again through my 20s, but now, as I’m entering my 30s, I feel like I’ve missed my chance to find someone who truly loves me. Everyone around me seems to have found their person, with families and past relationships.

It’s not that I think that’s wrong, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll never experience what it’s like to be someone’s first love.

On the brighter side, I was fortunate enough to land a good job right after university. I spent my 20s working hard, and I’ll admit, it paid off. I managed to get my own place.

I also took some risks, moving to Europe to join a company, which was a huge step for me coming from a third-world country.

But despite all the hard work, the company I joined declared bankruptcy, and now I’m heading back home.

I’m almost broke, isolated, and feeling incredibly depressed. Everything feels like it’s falling apart, and I’m exhausted from trying. I just want someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay.