multiple problems need emotional support and logical advice before I go to my family about it

so long story short, I moved to queens ny because of a new job I took. I became a flight attendant which took 6 weeks of unpaid training (longer story short my mom was a FA since I can remember and recently just became a pilot so ive been fully aware and prepared for the mental and physical load the job requires as I grew up with it) before that I was living in miami with my mom, very comfortable working on my architecture degree which im still very passionate about. During training the give you a base and u have no choice but to start working out the base and then transfer later when theres openings.

I got my second option NY, instead of miami my home but I figured it was do able since I have family in queens and my mom also had the same scenario happen to her, I was hopping on just getting a transfer 3 months into working and everything will be fine... right

I ended up really liking the job and the base cos of the trips I was going paris and london and all these new cities during the summer meeting my friends all over the world essentially living my 23rd yr old care free life. this carelessness ended up finding a boy and started dating him. after about 2 months of being together I find out im late and 5 weeks pregnant!

this kind of (obviously) made me freak out as (1) my job is really hard n has long weird hours (2) im looking for studios in queens and I already will be living in poverty (the first year of this job makes it really hard and people end up overworking themselves for that first year which I nowwww cannottttt do cos im pregnant) (3) I just started dating him & im all pro choice but for my own sanity/beliefs I would not be able to get an abortion as it would go against my own morals and make me feel very empty for the rest of my life cos I know myself

so thats the beginning of my pregnancy he essentially was very supportive of any decision I decided to take but I made it very clear to him that he did NOT need to be involved if he wasnt ready for it but I will be having the baby regardless. I would have preferred a dead beat dad who knew he wasnt ready for that responsibility than deal with an immature man who would just stress me out more.... but thats Just Me! thats why I mentioned that to him, he chose to stay by my side which made me feel better in many ways as also dealing with a dead beat would make any woman spiral but most persevere thru the pain and become awesome single moms (my mom as a huge example of it)

I went from looking to a studio to him and I looking for a 1bdr which was its whole separate problem as he lives n works in jersey and I work from queens/bk n the "middle" would be manhattan which is impossible lol! I felt alone in the search and he was just back seat riding "helping" me look which as an emotional rollercoaster of a trimester FTM sent me livid and I was filled with anger and resentment and just felt like the responsibility was just on me.... which is exactly what I wanted to avoid.... after 3 months of looking I finally had to settle and move to jersey as I just gave up. he found a spot in jersey city that worked for us but it was STILL nyc price but way better living. so I just signed a lease and here we are.

I kept working up until 30weeks which took soooo much out of me and I tried my best to keep working as something in me told me he wouldnt be able to handle the financial burden of the apt and living if I didnt. I am now 35 weeks (5 weeks into my unpaid leave) and I can tell he literally cannot afford rent and I literally cannot afford to even by groceries or eat out or even buy new underwear cos my last check went to the rent which he told me last minute if I could pay half and he would pay me back? this immediately started worrying me as that was supposed to be my savings for the next couple of months until my maternity pay kicked in.

he has been working non stop of months now only have 1 day off each week. it makes me feel like I could do more sometimes, during the 2nd trimester I started cooking and cleaning more and working a little less while growing a baby. sometimes it would feel unfair other times I felt like I had no right to complain.

another form of resentment built up when instead of saving money and cutting back on expenses he found a hobby in furniture buying (which I get it we just moved into a space we need to decorate I studied design so I understand curating ur space is very important on ur mental health etc but it doesnt need to be an expensive couch or an expensive chair..... its our first apt??? it doesnt need to immediately be perfect especially with our situation.......) he would spend all his free time looking for furniture or playing video games. it would drive me insane as I has no time to do such things, my free time was spent cooking cleaning or going to dr appts and sleeping as I was always exhausted. it would make sense if he was looking for baby furniture or maybe just saving money for the baby but no.

(this is where idk if im being dramatic or its just me being picky but am I crazy? am I overreacting?)

everytime I would mention babies are expensive and we really dont have the means to buy a coffee table as its not a necessity... a crib is a necessity... a stroller is a necessity... he would get bothered by it and it just makes me feel like somewhat controlling? he would say its his money that hes gonna be spending and I dont think he realized then that I will not be helping him or going 50/50 on rent and it will quite frankly be all on him...

we have gotten into nasty fights because I have resentment built up & out of mood swings ive said some very fucked up things so he also has resentment towards me.

im kind of in last couple of weeks of being pregnant and I am really thinking about leaving. he is not what I wanted from a partner and I love him but I feel like this whole thing is a mistake. not the baby I love my baby n I can't wait to meet him n the little feet tht kick me all the time. but the father isn't who I want to parent with. we dont share the same ideals about things, before him I wouldnt be on my phone at all I was always in a phone free environment n being human n talking to people n just living life. he spends all his time working or doom scrolling or playing a video game. constantly behind a screen just brain rotting away n ignoring his feelings n human experience

i have gotten him to realize how much tht is affecting him but he doesnt really make an effort.

I just feel like im doing a disservice to my future by staying but idk if I even have much of an option anymore? I have only an aunt up here in queens n thts it. no support system no friends new city no resources I feel dependent and stuck here. and if I tell my mom im leaving him she would gladly take me back home n help me figure it out but it will also bring custody battles with him as I would go back to miami n he would still be up here in jersey. part of me thinks tht would make the babies life harder as he wouldn't have a father figure present 24/7 n im also afraid of the courts ruling him full custody as my job requires me to be out of the house some nights... but he works so much he would just have to leave the baby with his grandma which love her but she has too many babies ij tht house n its not really the best environment id want for my baby :(

I need logical reasonings n advice as my mom is also my ride or die so if I tell her these things she would look at him differently & get worried

I kno theres potential for him to grow as a person n change his lifestyles n stuff but I know I cant rely on potentials. I love him but theres things tht just don't sit right with me n no matter how many heart to heart conversations we have it doesn't leave a lasting difference.

I kinda need to make a decision soon as once I have the baby im stuck to tht state, if I have it here in jersey ill forever be stuck here, a place I barely like... im from south Florida where if ur bored u go to the beach n get a lot of sun all year round. here its different yes, but I just haven't acclimated yet maybe? idk im going insane n im tired of ranting ab it with friends or family as they never tell me any advice n I am looking for advice