From 2-3 times a week to 1-2 times a month

I (33f) and my fiancé (39m) have all but stopped being intimate and it's killing me.

A little back story, we've been together 14 years and our sex life was AMAZING for a long time. He was a virgin when I met him and he became obsessed with satisfying me sexually. It was fantastic! But in the last few years he's all but stopped being interested in me at all. I practically beg to even just suck his dick, 9 times out of 10 he turns me down. When we do have sex it lasts no more than 10 minutes and that's on a good day.

He doesn't even hardly hug or kiss me, hold my hand, cuddle...nothing. I try to initiate these things but he either begrudgingly goes along or just turns me down. Very seldom does he initiate or seem to enjoy this. I've tried to have conversations about this to try and work through some of it, but he just gets instantly defensive. Says he has no libido and it is what it is. He refuses to work through this with his therapist or consider medication. He had bloodwork done recently and his testosterone and hormone levels are fine.

I have tried everything to work through this and help him. I buy skimpy outfits and lingerie. If he mentions that I would look sexy in something I buy it and casually walk around the house in it. Bought new toys for us. I've tried having conversations and telling him how I feel in a gentle way. I initiate even the little stuff to get some form of human touch. I've even started doing more household chores and cooking to take some of the load off him so he'd have more energy to be intimate. (Toxic...I know)

I don't know what to do. I'm a very sexual person and I'm going insane without it. I have many toys and things for myself but it's not the same! My love language is physical touch so I don't feel totally loved either. I told him I feel like his roommate and not his fiancé and he got pissed and we fought all day.

We fight a lot these days. I hold a lot of resentment towards him. There's a lot more to our story obviously and there's other things than just the dead bedroom causing my resentment. But I dont know what to do. I feel like I want to leave but I'm terrified and worried that it will be the biggest mistake of my life! I've been with him since I was 19. We've been through so much together. I really do love him with everything I have but I'm so unhappy.