I think my mom is a narcissist.

I remember when I was about 4, my mom beat the shit out of me for breaking an art statue she had on the ground. As I got older, her cruelty persisted but more so in a verbal manner . When I was a child she frequently told me that I should kill myself, or that she hopes I get kidnapped and murdered so she “ has one less mouth to feed.” She worked a lot and scared away every man that tried to be there for her. Including my dad. That’s a whole other story tho so more on that another day. Anyways, I can write pages documenting the verbal abuse but I am going to keep things short. She always told me that I was ugly, the r word, useless, etc. When I was 17 she would frequently remind me that she couldn’t wait til I turned 18 so she could throw me out into the streets. I was trying to finish school but she demanded $600 in rent every month. Although I paid her rent, she continued to treat me horribly, call me names, destroy my property, etc. When I began to struggle with drug addiction she told my brother to shoot me, and she said she’d lie to the police saying I attacked my brother first. She used to sit on me to suffocate me when I was about 7.

I last saw her around Christmas. I mentioned I felt like we had a hard life growing up and she would say.

“ how did you guys have a hard life?”

She refuses to take responsibility for. She laughed at me when I suggested she abused us. I am no longer living with her but she refuses to get help because “ She has Jesus”