I feel so lost and tired of everything at 17

I just finished the last exam of my school life, and now life feels so empty and lonely. I studied like a dog, day and night, for an exam for two years, and I ended up doing dogshit in it. Why, you ask? Because my anxiety is so bad that I started having anxiety attacks as I went through the questions.

That aside, I just feel so done with everything, like there's nothing to look forward to. Every time I think about what I want to do in life, it's just a room with darkness and endless silence. Knowing that the happiness I want exists somewhere but is so out of my reach makes it look like a mirage-so real but so unattainable.

In front of my "friends," I'm this wannabe philosopher and poet who appears to have everything figured out and always seems optimistic. But in reality, I dread waking up in the morning because it's the same shit over and over again. At this point, I have zero genuine friends I can talk to, heart-to-heart, because it seems like they don't understand, or maybe they don't want to. Whenever they have problems, I become this Bob the Builder and a fucking Socrates reincarnation, thinking I can fix their shit and pull them out of their misery. But there's no one there for me when I need them. Their replies are always like "Hmm," "Yeah," or "It happens." Like, what the fuck? Why can't people just talk?