It’s complicated

You messaged me when I was at my lowest. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about how I was feeling when I thought my marriage was coming to an end. You were friendly, flirty, and we had so much in common. So many similarities in likes and dislikes in music, movies, and so many other things, and similar beliefs. You were definitely my type even if you didn’t think you could be anyone’s type. Conversation was easy and effortless, and I always looked forward to the next notification.

I lied to you at first. I intentionally tried to keep things mostly friendly, but I told you I was already divorced. I still feel guilty for that. I tried to stop talking to you when I realized I was starting to develop feelings for you. Because I felt it wasn’t fair to string you along based on a lie. I couldn’t stay away, but I waited for you to approach me again. I came clean and told you most of the whole story. Everything except for how I was starting to feel towards you. That still isn’t fair to you.

Having you to talk to will ultimately be what saved my marriage. You gave a friend sound advice, you let me voice my frustrations and comforted me when I felt lost. I think my wife and I managed to work things out, thanks to you. But I still get butterflies every time I see a notification.