Need help ASAP- manger screamed at me and is now trying to get me fired. Workplace violence and sexual harrassment?
Post summary at bottom
I'm so angry I have to even make this post, but I need some help so badly. Otherwise I might default to taking legal action. That's how serious this has become.
So for context, I am a mid 20s woman working graveyards with two other people. These people are both men. One of them is a younger man who likes to talk a lot of crap,(to your face and bahind your back) and the other is a middle aged man with an ego issue. The middle aged man is my manger. These people have alienated almost everyone else at the office because of how they talk to people, their rude behavior, and their tendency to gossip and then relay said gossip to our bosses. Basically tattle tales. I wish I had known this sooner, but of course I only came to find out the measure of their character after a couple months.
It all started last Monday. The younger man I work with was not talking to me, and yet acting unbothered around the other man. I made several attempts to ask him if everything was okay, but he side lined me. It wasn't until I complained to my manager that he finally agreed that the three of us could discuss it. During this discussion he said he was upset with me because I chit chat with another woman on site who he has issues with because he's been reported by her in the past for inappropriate behavior. The discussion went less than ideally. And I just want to state for the record that I don't gossip at work, and what chit chatting I do consists of unrelated and superficial subjects about life. (IE: "how was your weekend? Do anything fun??")
The next day, when I got to work, my manager got in also. As I was due to fill a different time slot shift later in the week, I wanted to talk to the manager of that shift about it before he left. In front of my manager I asked the other manager if I could walk him out. My other manager was standing right next to us as I grabbed my energy drink and started walking toward the door with him. When I got back to my desk my manager began screaming at me. Violently. He called me in-subordinate, accused me of leaving my job without permission, cussed at me, and told me I was disrespectful. I was so taken aback by his sudden change in behavior that I didn't say anything, I just mumbled an apology. He walked away and began slamming things around in his office, violently typing on his computer, and cussing about me some more so loud the whole office could hear him. He yelled that I could go to our boss and tell him that this is how he "operates" if it bothered me that much. Later in the day (night) I got an opportunity to speak to him and I told him that I felt like his reaction was disproportionate, and inappropriate. I told him that I knew that he was upset because he thought I was talking shit about him, and I told him that wasn't the case and his behavior was unprofessional. I told him I had my own personal issues and that he had no right to treat me that way. Instead of apologizing, he told me how he has had similar personal issues and basically side lined my complaint. Since his mood improved, I decided that I didn't want to endanger his job over something that seemed personal, so I let the matter pass. I didn't report to any other managers, and I didn't go to my boss. I regret that now.
I found out a few days later that that night he had emailed our boss, and not just our boss, but our home office. (The big bosses) and he told them that I left my job. He also said that I told someone from the company we share an office with confidential information about our job schedules. And I didn't? I did speak with a passerby, and I did answer a question for them as they seemed interested in the type of way one might ask you about your job to apply for it. I certainly did not give them any helpful or confidential information, and I certainly did not say anything to them that I hadn't heard my manager tell this same group of people in the past. If anything he's given them more specific information before this than I have. Oh and if you're wondering, my other coworker is avoiding me, not speaking to me, and spreading rumors about me to the other shifts and around our office.
post summary
So basically, my coworker and my manager got mad at me because I dared to have meaningless chit chats with someone they don't like because they've gotten in trouble in the past. Then I stepped aside to talk to someone, my manager got mad because he thought I was talking shit when I wasn't and screamed at me. Because he screamed at me and was probably afraid I'd go to the office and report it, he decided instead to report me based on false and/or incomplete information (that by the way occurred day ago) and is now trying to get me fired. I spoke to our boss, but this was before either myself or my boss found out about his email sending. The worst part? I told my boss that I thought we could just handle it and no one had to get in trouble.
What do you do when you're the victim, but the person who attacked/wronged you runs to your boss first and tries to throw you under the bus by other means?? How do you salvage your image, and tell them that the person who actually broke the rules-and honestly the law- ran to tattle on you because they were afraid of getting fired??
Any and all help would be appreciated. I'm afraid I'm going to have to call a lawyer and get a new job. Thank you for any thoughts you have to offer.
Edit: title typo damnit :,(
Posted Mar 16, 2025, 9:11 AM UTC