I'm a fraud and have been my whole life

You could meet me on the street tomorrow and you would never "guess it" if you ran into me. I am reasonably well-dressed, of average height and I look better than most men my age. I have children. And, until recently, a job. At least, on paper.

And I never told anyone this and I am insanely uncomfortable admitting it. But I am "on the spectrum". Aspergers/ADD, diagnosed as a kid. I cannot focus for shit. The only reason I have been able to hold any job has been because my family is reasonably well-off and hired me to work on my parents company.

I've been married once and have had four brief relationships. I have one best friend and a few other friends although I do not see most of them. And I have a few children, who live with me. I'm in my mid-thirties and married early, had kids early.

The only reason my ex-wife even went for me is because I presented myself as a capable man. I am not. I can be witty and entertaining in conversation and I am fairly good-looking. So I essentially "tricked" her into liking me and seeing me as a good provider, a capable man... meanwhile I am a loser, don't even have a drivers license, my mother helps manage my finances, my father helps me whenever something in the house needs fixing, anything worse than a light bulb needing changing, I can't do.

My family recently had an economic setback and I may be out of work soon. And I have nothing. No real relevant experience aside from a cushy made-for-me bullshit "job" that allowed me to milk money with doing very little in return. No drivers license. No degree beyond high school. My oldest kid is 11 and still thinks the world of me but I know I'll let her down the way I've let everyone down in my life so far.

Truth be told, I cannot make friends well. Most people I do not connect with. I have no real relevant skills. I can be charming but I am also clueless about social situations sometimes. Somehow I feel empty inside... I view the world as transactional and my own value in it is... much lower than I am willing to expect. Strip away the pretense, the fakery, the fake confidence and what's left is, nothing.