I don't want to talk about it either but it will be better if we do

Hi Mom,
I’m gonna spend the day by the beach.
I’m here with my boyfriend.
He is a social worker.
He is my husband.
He used to be an old lady.
How much are you remembering these days?

How about when I had hair way down to here?
I didn’t even shave or shower for however many years
so it all clumped together and dreaded.
Me and the barber took one look at each other;
he reached down, grabbed the buzzer from his pocket and went to town.

Now remind me:
Does Dad still wanna become a dentist some day?
How about the novocaine in your hand?
Can he learn to make it wear off all the way already?

It’s getting too windy out here,
and I keep thinking it’s Easter for some reason.
I’m asking that you please don’t drive so fast anymore.
It’s my wedding day and I can’t stop crying.
I finally picked out a ring and I know that he’ll say yes.
I’m gonna ask him on the beach you helped me
fall in love with, where tar gets on our feet from
all day playing in the sand.
You showed me even sticky-icky tar comes off like magic when you know
the trick is mayonnaise (of all things) and that’s partly why
the ocean never means a thing to me but you.

Now who was it that said:
just because it happens to everyone, doesn’t make it fair?

Yeah, I don’t remember either.

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