Who else feels put off from dating because it always feels like a performance?

I dont know why, but dating/romantic relationships have always felt like a huge masking performance, aside from one long term relationship when I was still a teen (so not sure if it really counts and my memory of it is pretty fuzzy by now).

Just knowing how performance-y I am during it, how many appeasement behaviors I do, how most of it feels like I'm doing things because that's what I see in movies or what other couples do, etc - it deters me a lot from even trying to date. Like I love at the core just doing things to make who I'm with smile (I'm the same way with friends too), and I love physical touch when I get comfortable with a person - but I feel like date mode or romantic relationship mode for me is just...perform perform perform, and I don't know where or what my personhood within it is feeling/wanting. So most people I date - it only goes for a couple months, and then I usually end it because I don't feel like my performing has stopped and I get, tired I guess?

(I'm also queer with some ace-ness mixed in)

So I'm curious who else relates and in what ways??