18 Months of HRT!  That's a year and a half!!  This feels like such an incredible milestone!  

Looking back, I can definitely see a lot of progress and so much more happiness and euphoria now.  It's such a weird feeling honestly.  To look at 3mo, or 6mo, or 12mo photos or posts that I posted and get very happy on one had at how much difference I can see, or like embarrassed and cringy on the other hand that I used to go out that way.  It's so hard to see ourselves in the moment.  I was happy at all those times and while I didn't always feel very feminine or particularly cute or anything the differences at the time from my pre-transition self was enough to make me happy and confident.

I think that has been the real key to how well I feel I've been passing and doing in general for a while now.  Confidence and self-care.  I may have mentioned this before, but I realized at some point that passing is not something I care about anymore.  Because either way it felt like a good thing.  If I passed that was great, I was getting seen and heard as I wanted to be.  If not, then it was even better.  Maybe not personally, but for trans people in general, for our community.  There is a false image of trans people out there, and if I can be seen as just a normal everyday person then it helps change that image.  It humanizes and normalizes us and our presence.  Yesterday was Trans Day of Visibility.  This idea is the embodiment of what that day is all about.  Go out and be seen, be heard, be human.  Once I got to this point, I started passing way better.  The change in attitude and presence just shift how people perceive you.  It's been long enough now that I don't even recall the last time I was misgendered.

This month hasn't had anything major occur in terms of my HRT or progress.  It's just been another month of slow steady changes and more of the same treatments and appointments.  From laser and electro to just going to the hair salon.  I'm pretty settled into my life as a woman.  I do have FFS coming up very soon (next week), so I've been doing all the pre-requisites but it's just getting me more excited and counting the days.  I'll be able to speak on that more next month.  I'm very lucky as my Orchi last month was no big deal.  I recovered very quickly, and it's been very positive for me.  I hope the FFS is similar but the stories from others have me thinking it will be a much harder and longer recovery.  

A hiccup on my journey is a sort of internal struggle and growing pains sort of issues within my local trans group.  Politics and conflict have found their way into our community and it's very sad.  In times like this we should be coming together and more united than ever, yet that's not the case.  I have been trying my best to do what's best for the group and to help it survive and continue to provide the much-needed support that it's capable of.  Being trans means going through a second puberty and dealing with all kinds of emotions and anxieties that cis people won't ever experience so I know how difficult things can be, but I encourage everyone to try and find compassion and civility amongst all others.  Trans or not, agreeable or not, we are all human and we are all valid.

Best wishes to all on their own journeys!