i think this might be my last day on earth

I don’t want to burden anyone with this so i suppose it can go here, i’ve had an awful upbringing and i have nobody now, i am in my late teens and support figure, my father, passed away 2 years ago, ever since i have been in such a state with no support, didn’t pass my exams, no friends, agoraphobia, and no loving family, i know if i was born into a different family my life would be so different but i cannot fight this anymore, i was first suicidal at 9 years old and it has only gotten worse after being told it will get better constantly, i’m at my breaking point, i need something or advice at all, please