I'm stuck in a loop

So I really want to get into playing online but usually my week goes like this: spend the weekend and Monday training and learning next weeks track. Watching track guides, comparing telemetry and so on.

But as soon as tuesday comes along I get nervous and jump back into playing with only ai for the rest of the week. Until Saturday, when the loop starts again.

Been like this for a year now, both for LMU and iracing. Guess I just don't wanna be the one someone makes a post about on reddit that ruined their race :)

I'm a coward, but damn I love simracing.